moving on.....

The night was long, cold and sleepless- the morning was desolate still. I opened my balcony window and suddenly a gush of cold ran down my spine. The dew had precipitated on the power cables beneath as if the heavens had been crying the whole night, silently.

  The portrait on my apartment wall was all black and white- a man sitting on a bench beside a countryside bridge, enjoying and savouring the sunshine of life- as if he wanted nothing more from his destiny. This man who looked so elegant and tranquil had been a part of my life I began cherishing myself as a women. Fifteen long years since our teen days we have known each other. And suddenly yesterday when we were to meet one last time as friends before our engagement the phone bell rang and shattered every dream that we have lived together. “Dead on arrival”- is what the doctors said. Onlookers said the car crash was fatal. I couldn’t muster courage to see him for the last time; I was unable to believe it.

    I closed my balcony window and sat down on the chair looking outside – looking nowhere, thinking nothing – everything was numb. Suddenly a sparrow came across the dark sky  and hovered around for some time and sat on my window my . It was so buzzing, so lively – has he lost someone ever in his life, I asked myself. How can the bird be so happy? How can it be so free? So ostentatious? Can’t it feel my emotions? And then I thought perhaps it’s a message for me to move on.

I went inside my drawing room picked my car keys, pulled my car out, and drove towards the gate, looked back once at my house and started driving towards the highway- to somewhere…..to nowhere….to find life…to move on.